the other day, i swore off love. i actually said "i no longer love, love" and a peice of my heart fell off. a hole in my heart. many friends are going thru a bad time right now, and i've lost faith in love. i didn't want to be patient. "time heals all wounds" is what my cousin told me, i'm thinking "this isnt' a WOUND! this is an infection taking over my body, my brain. and it hurts."
This last weekend was New Years. It use to be my most favorite holiday because the pressure of the last three months are finally released. I can drink and be merry and not worry about anyone else, just me. I loved throwing NYE parties. Everyone would come to my house, and meet new friends thru my other friends. It was awesome. I think I'll do that for next year.
So, back to the love thing... Yesterday I spend the day with myself. I had a good time being lazy and watching movies and baking, and playing with the kitty cat (house sitting for my aunt while she's on her cruise). The last movie I watched was called My Blueberry Nights. It stars Norah Jones, who was recently broken hearted due to boyfriend going out with another girl. She goes to the dinner where she meets Jude Law and ends up finding comfort in him as a friend. After a year of searching for a distraction (she can't get her ex-boyfriend off her mind) she comes back to NY and ends up with Jude Law. I'm not really that good of a story teller I missed a lot, but either way, the most important part is where I tell you that yes, I'm back in love with love. Because the feeling is undiscribable. I just hope someday I feel like that again.
Portland, Oregon Travel Guide
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