Inspired

i wish i could do something like this with someone i love.
http://www.designsponge.com/2011/07/before-after-trolley-depot-renovation.html#more-110505

on tuesday my cousin, priscilla came into town. i took her to a lot of my favorite places in dallas. we ran some of my arrands, and she didn't mind. after picking her up at lovefield airport we went to mini cooper of dallas. got some free coffee. hehehe. drove to jimmy johns for a quick lunch and great talk about what's been going on in our lives. priscilla has created a promotions company called lyrical, inc. which is a perfect name for it, as she makes events that bring artists of all kind to a venue and let them express themselves. most of her venues are in local galleries or coffee shops. she has two a month. i don't know how she does it, but it's working, and she's getting a lot of attention.
After lunch i made a huge loop to uptown to get downtown. Once in downtown we walked around. one of our favorite shop stop was the cactus place. (i don't remember the name, but it's on the corner by campisis, and next to main and akard.) this place is exactly decorated like i would like my future shop to be.

heart skipped a beat.

Someone once said - "There comes a time in your life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad, and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you right, pray for the ones who don't. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living."

um. my throat hurts. but i'm going to ignore it till it goes away. hopefully that works, because NO WAY am i gonna get sick. too much to do. so little time.

love,
me

Cleanse

Today is my first day with the lemonade cleanse. So far so good...except that I think I put WAY to much Cayenne pepper. I'll be sure to use less tomorrow. The drink taste like waterdown lemonade with spicyness to it. I dont' have a headache, but my head feels like it's clean. Maybe that's what pepper usually does to people, I'm not sure, as I dont' usually have spicy things. But when I do think of spicy things I think of Chuys. yummmmmmmm... now I want some. Maybe I'll start my cleanse tomorrow? I'm just kidding.
i think i can... i think i can... i think i can ... i think i cannn......

<3 me.

fourth of july

when i was married, my husband didn't want to go watch the fireworks on the beach of california. he said that the crowd would be to much, and he just rather watch from our window. i was sad, but said that we'll just stay at home together. an hour later he told me he was going to meet his friend and hang out with him since he was going thru a break up, and his friend didn't want to be alone. i got up to start getting ready, when he asked me where i was going. i was getting up to get ready to go out with them. but my mistake, it was just him informing me that he will be leaving without me. zac went into the shower, and i turned on the tv. his phone ringing (his friend calling), i let it ring. then saw his last text message saying something like "i can't wait". then, i started snooping as the name on that text was not the name of his friend he informed me that he would be spending time with. i continued to read that his friend was actually planning to pick up chicks at the beach and my husband replied with the same. my heart started to break. i was upset and continued to think what i did wrong for him not to spend time with me.

he walked out the door so happy, relieved, excited. as giddy as a school girl, i swear, i was doing my best to keep my tears inside. i followed him to the front door. i looked at him, and shook my head. i asked him why he didn't want to spend this time with me. his reply "i don't know".

going to see the fireworks, makes me happy. and i shouldn't have let him take that away from me. i let him take a lot of things. even my happieness (which everyone thinks i have an endless amount of).

i love me.

life book...

feeling myself and being myself is the most important thing to me. it makes me happy. it makes me bubbly and content.
right now i'm in the process of getting things ready to move to austin. i need to do something that'll make me some money that way i can do the following:
pay back martin for car - most important!!! $1300
pay for deposit for sunstone yoga school $3000
pay for apartment and bills
save for two months to live in austin during "transfer" time

what i can do in the meantime is get myself mentally and physically prepared.
working out, eating right, reading, getting some sun, spending time with friends, making austin contacts for further career.

side jobs:
Nick's Cellardoor
The Accent Pillows

What else can i do to make $$? set up a carwash for myself? LOL

_______________
my 12 areas of my life that i will improve on (Taken by lifebook):
◦My Health and Fitness - A HEALTHIER BODY, A HEALTHIER LIFE
◦My Intellectual Life - MY LIFE IS WHAT MY THOUGTS MAKE IT
◦My Emotional Life - LIFE IS AFFECTED BY MY EMOTIONS, I NEED TO CONTROL IT
◦My Character - VALUES
◦My Spiritual Life - DISCOVERING A HIGHER PURPOSE.. GOD
◦My Love Relationship - TO LOVE, AND BE LOVED
◦Parenting (for when I do have kids) - LEAD BY EXAMPLE
◦My Social Life - KEEP GOOD COMPANY
◦My Financial Life - THE TRANSFORMATIVE POWER OF MONEY
◦My Career - YOU ARE WHAT YOU DO
◦My Quality of Life - THE LIFE I ASPIRE TO LIVE
◦My Life Vision - TO FINALLY EXPERIENCE IT BY ALL MY SENSES

and i've started on this... RIGHT NOW <3

love,
me

so many beautiful things

i wish i could tell you that i too don't know what i want. i just feel the pressure of time. if i don't have my baby now, i might never. then i think.. who cares. i can be selfish and not have a baby, and live my life freely and travel the world and not be tied down. no matter where i go, my family will be there to support me. they don't feel the need to have a baby in the family. maybe i can just get up and go. when my apartment lease is up... i can storage my things, and finally go to austraillia... or move to austin w/ brenna... or go downtown... or live in a motel... i can work remote/online.. i can work on a train on my way to washington state. the possibilites are endless. and no one to tie me down. i can continue all around the world to my hearts content.

or i can stay here at microsoft and type my possiblities while i have gentleman suiters claim they want to take me away. all talk and no play. smh.

i'm listening to my song that makes me dream.. and now i'm dreaming. the thing is... ALL MY DREAMS COME TRUE.


yep. i'm gonna do it.

I'm going to do what I want. NOW.

love,
lyssa

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HfH9i-C9ico&feature=related

What stage are you at?

Watch this whole video... click here

just work on it. and it'll work.

love,
me

birthday time... already!?!?

yaya, i can't believe it's my birthday coming up already!!! i'm such a busy bee, i didn't even see it was coming untill today while i was looking at my calendar. i was thinking "oh, finally a weekend coming up that i'm not busy" but then i was like "OMG, THAT'S MY BIRTHDAY WEEKEND!!!" so, yea, busy again... i'm going to throw a poolside party at my apt. I think it'll be fun, and i'll get James and Jessica to cook some fiesta food :) and i'll look hott in my bikini.. or pale white and fat. either way, it's my bday, and i do what i want...hum, now to think what swim suit to wear!!!

mucho love,
me

p.s. i have recently unblocked my ex on the phone... should i let us be friends? enough time has passed!? what do you think?

About her

"You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She’s not perfect - you aren’t either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break - her heart. So don’t hurt her, don’t change her, don’t analyze and don’t expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she’s not there. " -Bob Marley

ben gibson

sweet
tasty
witty
social
listens
talks
pays
respects
fun
vocabulary
freckles
strong
sings
dances
beard
kisses
plays
tall
foreplay
touches
smart
drinks
talented
photographer
hands
perfect

love,
me

comfort never got anyone anywhere

“I think we're just gonna to have to be secretly in love with each other and leave it at that, Ritchie.” The Royal Tenenbaums

when your comfortable you sit. you stare, you watch, you wait. for what?

i needed a "wake me up" something to take the edge off... it was you. i missed you, why not?! it was great to see you, by the way. i haven't had a converstation like that in a long time. i hope i didn't shake your world to much. but put a smile ON your face. you are not alone.

love,
me

singleness, why do you hang around here

oh no... it's here. SINGLE-NESSESS
drinks, dinners, movies, dancing, kissing, wispering, smoking, flirting, dressing up, curly hair, fake lashes, long smooth legs, lipsticks, looks, touching, dessert, giggling... omg, i love it.

i've been having so much fun. it's dangerous. <3

love,
me

laughing my ass off...

http://www.youtube.com/user/dansavage#p/a/f/2/csCozsjPrhg

trust and love

this weekend i'm going to a wedding. it's my friends Brandi and Tyree. they are so fun and cute together, so much trust and love in that relationship. when i first met brandi she would go with me dancing in the clubs, and so many men would hit on her, she would just say something to them like "i'm with my girls tonight" or just smile and keep moving. i thought it was strange that she didnt' want to talk to any of them. i asked her one time what was she waiting for? she said "the right one". i told her of my obsessions and she listened and comforted me. i would get very drunk and tell her all my worries of never finding that kind of love that i was thriving for. she would just listen. and i loved it.
we've grown apart since i got married. i think it's becuase i didn't invite any of my friends to my wedding. my ex-husband was jealous of the friendships i had. but i felt that marrying him was the right decision because he asked me, and i was ready. when i moved back to dallas, i tried to rekindle my friendships and it was hard. i never did get back in good terms with them. i felt more like that 5th wheel. and it didn't help that my next relationship wasn't very open to my friends either. he would say we could make plans, but would rather just hang out with me. and i think that was fine. i need to make sure my next relationship will be more open to my friends that have been with me for years. someone who can accept them for who they are, and not judge them for the mistakes that they have done, or continually do. no one is perfect (except me).

right now i'm not dating anyone, i'm still on this high about getting to know myself again. hot yoga class, running, cheerleading, lhs reunion committee... all these things occupy my time. and keep me busy. the best part is, i'm still standing still. i'm seeing where i am, and observing my reactions to my surroundings. i would like a pet. a doggie maybe. i loved creasy bear and think that my next purchase will be an angeldoll puppy. they aren't cheeap, so i think maybe a christmas present for myself. untill then, i'm pretty much booked up with my current schedule.

love,
me

and just for fun - side note this movie will be funny
http://www.justintimberlake.com/news/must_see_bad_teacher_trailer

Single Girls lyrics by Laura Jansen

I think you´d like my new hair
I cut it when you weren´t there
That pieces of us everywhere
Were falling down

My bed is now a girl´s bed
Pink flowers under my head
And pillows on your side instead
Of you

´Cause that´s what single girls do
Don´t think about you

I´m reading books on meditation
Praying for my heart´s salvation
I´ve got the motivation
To be a free girl now

I´ve gone drinking with the guy down the hall
Put up a new color on my bare walls
I´m so damn busy
After all
Cause that´s what single girls do
Don´t think about you

I keep trying
I keep trying
To make my way back to the light where I belong
But God keeps lying
God keeps lying
Saying this is for the best and nothing here is wrong

But I"m still thinking about you

I think you´d like my new hair
I cut it like I didn´t care
That pieces of me everywhere
Were falling down

One more glass of wine
Before I turn off the lights
This time I´ll be fine
I´ll be fine
I´ll be fine

because it will be...

just breathe

having a great day today - getting ready for a sweet night. <3

love,
lala


p.s. i weigh 105.6... and that means Perfect.

clear mind

i'm seeking a clear mind. but don't know how i can do that with a stuffy nose. i'm feeling dizzy and out of control. i don't know what to pick. i need to pick something, choose something to keep my focus on. if i do that, i think other things will fall into place, and then i will no longer be lost.

wow, could i sound more dramatic? no wonder i'm alone.

no love.
mel...

and you're done.

A poem about eternity that didn't last.
by melissa patino



nevermore will i seek you,
my old friend i can not meet you.
you were bad enough to string me along
you broke my heart for way too long.

i asked you not to tell me,
then you forced it apon me.
i cried for days
now i only feel hate.

forget you now
forget you later
forget me for that purpose, greater
the second i forget you,
you wrote me a letter.

my heart is on my sleeve
my fault, as i am easy to please
as i pleased you for too long
my fault for stringing you along.

good luck
i take it back
maybe you will fall and crack
till then old friend
i will never see you again.

- MP

madelieine peyroux

Lyrics to Half The Perfect World :
Every night he’d come to me
I’d cook for him, I’d pour his tea
I was in my thirties then
Had made some money
Lived with men

We’d lay us down to give and get
Beneath the white mosquito net
And since no counting had begun
We lived a thousand years in one

The candles burned
The moon went down
The polished hill
The milky town
Transparent, weightless, luminous
Uncovering the two of us
On that fundamental ground
Where love’s unwilled, unleashed, unbound
And half the perfect world is found

The candles burned
The moon went down
The polished hill
The milky town
Transparent, weightless, luminous
Uncovering the two of us
On that fundamental ground
Where love’s unwilled, unleashed, unbound
And half the perfect world is found

love you.

Snow Days

Texas has been having some wacky weather... I had the last two days off due to the ics and sleet all over the DFW metroplex. What did I do?! Have a Dexter Marathon day! Drank warm tea, and enjoyed my extra weekend, in the middle of the week!

love,
Lala

Single and Sick

no fun. no fun to make your own tea, to make your own bed, to take yourself to the doctor. no fun to guess if you have a fever with your own hand, and turn on the movie by yourself and watch it by yourself, and take your medicine by yourself, and make a yucky face by yourself. no fun.
this year, i vow not to get sick again. it's bad enough i feel ugly and tired and coughing all over the place, i don't have anyone to tell me i'm still amazing.
now that i'm feeling better i'm already starting to take it for granted. i still have 5 more days of antibiotics. and i'm thinking that vitamins don't taste great enough to take everyday. will i feel back to "normal" soon. and why did i get sick in the first place? :( playing in the cold and staying up late, not drinking enough water, and defo not sleeping well. stress. yes, i have stress. not sure why. i think it's gone now. i forgot what i was stressed about. maybe it was my yo bro and sis' visit that made me go crazy. and work, that's never a walk in the park. most importantly... single. single = stress? only when you have to make dinner for one. LOL

love,
miss lala

Girl Talk

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."
— Marilyn Monroe

Last weekend I went to a concert for a DJ/band called Girl Talk. It was so much fun. Jess, Amanada, Richard and I danced all night long. We had a bet that the person who stops dancing first would wash our cars in swimsuits. So, I promise, we didn't stop, not even when we were downing our waters did we stop. Since all four of us are winners, no cars were washed.

On Saturday my work buddy, JR called me to inform me of some tragic news. Our India co-worker has died. Letter from another collegue about Raphaels death:
Raphael just spoke to me on Saturday morning and left so thrilled to go and play a practice match with the Microsoft Soccer team. He loves all kinds of Sports and has been waiting for this day to join the team. Within 3 hours after he left, i got a call stating he is serious and somebody needs to rush to the hospital. His family stays in a diffrent city and it takes them atleast 6-8 hours to reach Bangalore.
As per his friends who were playing with him, he took a break while playing stating he was feeling tired and just wants to sit out a bit. The guys continued playing and when they were done with the match and walked up to him before leaving, he was sitting there motionless. They rushed him to the hospital but was declared dead on arrival.
Raphael was 29 years old, he was sweet and kind. RIP Raphael. You will be missed.

p.s. a little venting, my manager didn't even have the respect to approach the DM team about his death. Nor did she say a single word to us all day. And throughout the day when other co-workers were asking where did Raph go... WE had to tell them the devistating news. I did collect my 3 co-worker in the morning for a moment of silence. (they said they are not religious, i told them, you dont' have to be religious to stay quite for 30 seconds).

Right now, I'm just living day to day... Nothing special is happening, and nothing exciting. But please tell the ones you love, that you love them. And live everyday as happy as you can be. You never know.

much love,
Melissa Patino

Lala's Dancer Body

Yesterday I took pictures of myself in the mirrow for before pictures... and man, I should have taken then 3 days before (when I was bloated) becauase I'm not fat. I'm just not tight in the areas that I want to be. This is a picture of me at a Tiesto concert four years ago. I was a ripe and beautiful at age 23 or maybe I'm 24 in this picture. Super tight abs, and a beautiful dancer body. This is my goal to get to by Valentines weekend. I have written up a planner and will hopefully stick to my new routine.
Much Love,
me

My blueberry nights

the other day, i swore off love. i actually said "i no longer love, love" and a peice of my heart fell off. a hole in my heart. many friends are going thru a bad time right now, and i've lost faith in love. i didn't want to be patient. "time heals all wounds" is what my cousin told me, i'm thinking "this isnt' a WOUND! this is an infection taking over my body, my brain. and it hurts."
This last weekend was New Years. It use to be my most favorite holiday because the pressure of the last three months are finally released. I can drink and be merry and not worry about anyone else, just me. I loved throwing NYE parties. Everyone would come to my house, and meet new friends thru my other friends. It was awesome. I think I'll do that for next year.
So, back to the love thing... Yesterday I spend the day with myself. I had a good time being lazy and watching movies and baking, and playing with the kitty cat (house sitting for my aunt while she's on her cruise). The last movie I watched was called My Blueberry Nights. It stars Norah Jones, who was recently broken hearted due to boyfriend going out with another girl. She goes to the dinner where she meets Jude Law and ends up finding comfort in him as a friend. After a year of searching for a distraction (she can't get her ex-boyfriend off her mind) she comes back to NY and ends up with Jude Law. I'm not really that good of a story teller I missed a lot, but either way, the most important part is where I tell you that yes, I'm back in love with love. Because the feeling is undiscribable. I just hope someday I feel like that again.
Much love,
me