single adventures at tom thumb

so, i was there standing outside the pizza in the freezer section of my local Tom Thumb. foot tapping, biting the side of my lip, starting to panic. what is going on with me, am i not to choose a pizza that i would like to enjoy myself!!?? before i always knew which one to pick... it was the one he liked. surpreme and thick crust. it was never my favorite. no, my favorite is extra thin crispy crust with pepporoni. plain, i know, but uber delish, especially with ranch dressing.
so,if i know this is what i like, why am i not reaching out to get it. is it that i want to try something new? or missing what i'm use to eating. after i picked out pizza, it's true, i put it back, and did another lap around the store before coming back and making a final decision on the exact pizza i wanted. success for one item of the 20 that i did buy. why was it so hard to get the other iteams? because there are no single serving milk cartons, no one day oreo pack, no bread packs for 5 sandwiches only. the grocery store is meant for an average family of two plus baby. costco and sams is meant for that plus two more kids and grandparents visiting. so, for this particular establishment these packages will last the average family a week; when for me, more like 3 months! not that i don't eat at home, but i can't get the courage to make single serving portions.
At the end of my trip my total came out to be $22.93 included bananas, cereal, pizza, lasagna, and chips. hum... i should have gotten some chocolate and ice cream, but i'll leave that for a day that i'm in need of an emergency pick me up.

love,
me

having fun...

not yet, but i think i'm getting close. my friends have been inviting me to many outings to keep me occupied. but i somehow still end up in his bed. how do i keep my distance when i still have passion of that one? going to high-end clubs, bars, kerioke, maverik basket ball game, and christmas parties are all fun, but where's the love? and what does love have to do with anything? a newly single friend, Wendy, told me "the one thing i miss most about a relationship, is kissing. to have that one person kiss you, when you need it most. and it's fun. just to kiss when you get home, or when you leave, or becuase you miss them. the kiss is the biggest thing i miss" i totally agree Wendy.
on another note, i have been having fun getting ready for the holiday. i can't believe my christmas tree was up and ready, and then down and out. i don't think i'll be having a real christmas tree again... i take that back. i will try again next year. this weekend i'm going to be visiting my parents. i want to go "all out" this year for my gifts for the family, but i don't have the means. instead i will make things from scratch and they will love it. as for work, since i have to work this entire week, i will bake some muffins for friday breakfast. and i think they will enjoy. as for my gift to myself, this year i bought two things, a cutting board, and red soup bowls. they were much needed.

love,
me

See... I'm not "addicted"

Created by Oatmeal

the pain has turned to anger.

why should i settle for less than i want. I want to be your one an only, but you now have many. is it really that easy for you to give your love away so quickly? and your reasoning is becuase you need attention and need the feeling of being needed?!!?!? you had that. granted, i took that away, but your stubborness will not work to take it back!? i have been replaced with bars, beer and babes. is this the devil's work?

goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. may your many nights out at the fancy place with lights light up your life, as you once did mine.

good luck with your game.

not my day

I'm not feeling social today, but want some attention.... got any you can give me?

thanks!
love,
me

it's the end of an era.

I was watching sex and the city season 4 last night, and this is what Carrie said regarding Big moving to Napa and not wanting to be in NY anymore. What's coming? what's going? How will life be without you? I have always counted on you, and you would pop up unexpectatly. My go-to guy is no longer my go-to guy. Now I'll have to find another. But truthfully, I won't. Because there is only one you... luckly, you are only a plane ride away.

In regards to my latest relationship: one word -break up... and it's not going so well. Am I allowed to pretend I am talking to him, or will talk to him just to keep me moving thru the day? What about thinking "I'm going to make this for dinner, b/c I know that he would love it" even though it's just me eating... Alone? I have my makeup the way I know he likes it, just incase we accidently bump into eachother. Constantly checking my phone thinking that he MIGHT be thinking about me. Don't get me wrong, I'm not searching for trouble, but my heart is stuck in a spot that use to feel so good, and now is empty. I try to fill this void by talking to my best friends. Thinking of ideas on what I can do to occupy my time. How I should live my single life in order to be more confident in myself, without having to seak out male companionship.
When will these thoughts go away. When will my mind be clear and concentrate on me and my decisions? Only time will tell... untill then let my savor be sappy love movies, besties, and chocolate (but not too much, I still have to lose 5 more pounds).

love,
me

I feel pretty... I fell pretty... I fall pretty

don't you ever just feel soo good? your tummy if full of butterflies, you are floating on cloud nine, nothing can stop you. you see and feel the world around you. and the world around you wants to be closer to you... wants to join you. people gravitates to the positivity that clings on you. this is how i feel right now.