Pandora for inspiration

Every time I play this pandora station, magic happens. The air shifts, and the universe sends me a big beautiful sign. My brain switches gears... I start to focus, and life becomes clear.

Any Other Name Radio

American Beauty (Film Score), Charleston Chasers, The Shawshank Redemption (Film Score)

 Check it out while you are working and need some calming background music, or if you are wanting to just sit and meditate. Sometimes I put it on for my doggie Chanel when I'm out. She is usually very calm and pleasant when I get back home. 

Research for my new book

At the Barnes and Nobel in Austin...
Sometimes I feel like the book sleeve is all I need to read and I felt like I've read the whole book. I can't wait to tell others about David duchovny book "holy cow". Very interesting.

Dismantling

I have been having the time of my life "dismantling" since Sept 2009... ummmmmmm... okay, I'll say it, since my divorce. *sigh* Even though it was a good thing for me to depart from my marriage (that I never mention due to embarrassement that my fairytale life has such an ugly scar), a part of me really loved being a wife. It was the need to serve that I think I enjoyed the most. And I now know who/what I need to serve in order to be a more truthful, honest woman.
It was time for relection. When I got back to Texas, first thing I did was call my best friends. A team of personal heros that have been in my life for the past 9 years (or longer). Each of them saving me with either their compassion, love, friendship, advice, even shelter or whatever it is that I needed. Having those people in my life is what made me who I am due to the adventures we went through. I had stopped communicating with them for years due to my exhusbands jealousy and insecurities. It was time for me to team up with them again and start self refecting. I am grateful that my lifesavors came back into my life. And even with their help there was a lot more breaking down that needed to occur.
Then one year ago I started thinking about the things I needed to do. Then wondered why am I not doing it? Why am I not with my Prince Charming, why am I not owning my own company and thriving to be the best me that I can be? So I decided to get my mind set and start getting closer to my goals. It started with Quiting my office job, and Going to yoga teacher training, then Moving to Austin, Opening my own yoga studio, add Traveling in there, and now I'm thinking about moving back to Dallas. It's been what I would like to call a rollercoaster of love, sweat and hard work. Self discovery is happening, and I'm in love with it.
A blog I've started reading is by Rich Roll, and this is a excerpt from his wife's entry. It paints a really good picture of what I feel has been happening the last couple of months. No need to worry about me, friend. I'm just practicing patience, and polishing up for the things that God has in store for me.

“Dismantled” is a state where everything you thought you were starts to fall away. All of a sudden nothing seems to stick. You are doing everything you always had done in the past, and nothing works anymore. All your appliances and electronics start breaking. If a cop is in your vicinity, he is pulling you over. There are car accidents and bike crashes and literally your ivory tower is falling all around you. This can be a process that takes years. In our case, it’s been three years of this level of intensity — so far. Not to say that it is always at a fever pitch — it does ebb and flow like the tide. I liken it to being in the surf. You get hit by a wave; and just when you’re standing up and brushing yourself off, you get hit again and then again and again. This is part of the cleansing, the polishing of the diamond in the rough so to speak. You are being made “REAL”. The gift is that if you make it through, you become FREE. But it is not for the weary as it is very painful and uncomfortable.
During this process, your friends and family think you are crazy, lazy or on drugs. They stay up at night fearful of what is happening to you. You are scaring them and threatening their reality and they want you to stop and go back to the way you were. The new age spiritual community thinks you are creating it, and conveniently label it as “bad” and believing that if you just say “ I think I can, I think I can, I think I can” a million times over, it will all just go away. This is not the case. TRUE, you did create it at a soul level. Your ego would have never agreed to it’s death. This is your sacred wake up process to the truth of your BEING. In TRUTH, nothing is WRONG. Everything is going EXACTLY AS PLANNED. It just hurts like hell. The Ivory Tower has to fall in order for you to be reborn. You cannot be transformed unless you walk through the fire. And you can’t read about it in a book. Or be told about it by some teacher. You must BECOME. You must burn in the fire to be born anew. This is the path of waking up.

- Julie Piatt from blog http://www.richroll.com/uncategorized/my-man/

Inspired

i wish i could do something like this with someone i love.
http://www.designsponge.com/2011/07/before-after-trolley-depot-renovation.html#more-110505

on tuesday my cousin, priscilla came into town. i took her to a lot of my favorite places in dallas. we ran some of my arrands, and she didn't mind. after picking her up at lovefield airport we went to mini cooper of dallas. got some free coffee. hehehe. drove to jimmy johns for a quick lunch and great talk about what's been going on in our lives. priscilla has created a promotions company called lyrical, inc. which is a perfect name for it, as she makes events that bring artists of all kind to a venue and let them express themselves. most of her venues are in local galleries or coffee shops. she has two a month. i don't know how she does it, but it's working, and she's getting a lot of attention.
After lunch i made a huge loop to uptown to get downtown. Once in downtown we walked around. one of our favorite shop stop was the cactus place. (i don't remember the name, but it's on the corner by campisis, and next to main and akard.) this place is exactly decorated like i would like my future shop to be.

heart skipped a beat.

Someone once said - "There comes a time in your life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad, and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you right, pray for the ones who don't. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living."

um. my throat hurts. but i'm going to ignore it till it goes away. hopefully that works, because NO WAY am i gonna get sick. too much to do. so little time.

love,
me

Cleanse

Today is my first day with the lemonade cleanse. So far so good...except that I think I put WAY to much Cayenne pepper. I'll be sure to use less tomorrow. The drink taste like waterdown lemonade with spicyness to it. I dont' have a headache, but my head feels like it's clean. Maybe that's what pepper usually does to people, I'm not sure, as I dont' usually have spicy things. But when I do think of spicy things I think of Chuys. yummmmmmmm... now I want some. Maybe I'll start my cleanse tomorrow? I'm just kidding.
i think i can... i think i can... i think i can ... i think i cannn......

<3 me.

fourth of july

when i was married, my husband didn't want to go watch the fireworks on the beach of california. he said that the crowd would be to much, and he just rather watch from our window. i was sad, but said that we'll just stay at home together. an hour later he told me he was going to meet his friend and hang out with him since he was going thru a break up, and his friend didn't want to be alone. i got up to start getting ready, when he asked me where i was going. i was getting up to get ready to go out with them. but my mistake, it was just him informing me that he will be leaving without me. zac went into the shower, and i turned on the tv. his phone ringing (his friend calling), i let it ring. then saw his last text message saying something like "i can't wait". then, i started snooping as the name on that text was not the name of his friend he informed me that he would be spending time with. i continued to read that his friend was actually planning to pick up chicks at the beach and my husband replied with the same. my heart started to break. i was upset and continued to think what i did wrong for him not to spend time with me.

he walked out the door so happy, relieved, excited. as giddy as a school girl, i swear, i was doing my best to keep my tears inside. i followed him to the front door. i looked at him, and shook my head. i asked him why he didn't want to spend this time with me. his reply "i don't know".

going to see the fireworks, makes me happy. and i shouldn't have let him take that away from me. i let him take a lot of things. even my happieness (which everyone thinks i have an endless amount of).

i love me.

life book...

feeling myself and being myself is the most important thing to me. it makes me happy. it makes me bubbly and content.
right now i'm in the process of getting things ready to move to austin. i need to do something that'll make me some money that way i can do the following:
pay back martin for car - most important!!! $1300
pay for deposit for sunstone yoga school $3000
pay for apartment and bills
save for two months to live in austin during "transfer" time

what i can do in the meantime is get myself mentally and physically prepared.
working out, eating right, reading, getting some sun, spending time with friends, making austin contacts for further career.

side jobs:
Nick's Cellardoor
The Accent Pillows

What else can i do to make $$? set up a carwash for myself? LOL

_______________
my 12 areas of my life that i will improve on (Taken by lifebook):
◦My Health and Fitness - A HEALTHIER BODY, A HEALTHIER LIFE
◦My Intellectual Life - MY LIFE IS WHAT MY THOUGTS MAKE IT
◦My Emotional Life - LIFE IS AFFECTED BY MY EMOTIONS, I NEED TO CONTROL IT
◦My Character - VALUES
◦My Spiritual Life - DISCOVERING A HIGHER PURPOSE.. GOD
◦My Love Relationship - TO LOVE, AND BE LOVED
◦Parenting (for when I do have kids) - LEAD BY EXAMPLE
◦My Social Life - KEEP GOOD COMPANY
◦My Financial Life - THE TRANSFORMATIVE POWER OF MONEY
◦My Career - YOU ARE WHAT YOU DO
◦My Quality of Life - THE LIFE I ASPIRE TO LIVE
◦My Life Vision - TO FINALLY EXPERIENCE IT BY ALL MY SENSES

and i've started on this... RIGHT NOW <3

love,
me

so many beautiful things

i wish i could tell you that i too don't know what i want. i just feel the pressure of time. if i don't have my baby now, i might never. then i think.. who cares. i can be selfish and not have a baby, and live my life freely and travel the world and not be tied down. no matter where i go, my family will be there to support me. they don't feel the need to have a baby in the family. maybe i can just get up and go. when my apartment lease is up... i can storage my things, and finally go to austraillia... or move to austin w/ brenna... or go downtown... or live in a motel... i can work remote/online.. i can work on a train on my way to washington state. the possibilites are endless. and no one to tie me down. i can continue all around the world to my hearts content.

or i can stay here at microsoft and type my possiblities while i have gentleman suiters claim they want to take me away. all talk and no play. smh.

i'm listening to my song that makes me dream.. and now i'm dreaming. the thing is... ALL MY DREAMS COME TRUE.


yep. i'm gonna do it.

I'm going to do what I want. NOW.

love,
lyssa

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HfH9i-C9ico&feature=related

What stage are you at?

Watch this whole video... click here

just work on it. and it'll work.

love,
me

birthday time... already!?!?

yaya, i can't believe it's my birthday coming up already!!! i'm such a busy bee, i didn't even see it was coming untill today while i was looking at my calendar. i was thinking "oh, finally a weekend coming up that i'm not busy" but then i was like "OMG, THAT'S MY BIRTHDAY WEEKEND!!!" so, yea, busy again... i'm going to throw a poolside party at my apt. I think it'll be fun, and i'll get James and Jessica to cook some fiesta food :) and i'll look hott in my bikini.. or pale white and fat. either way, it's my bday, and i do what i want...hum, now to think what swim suit to wear!!!

mucho love,
me

p.s. i have recently unblocked my ex on the phone... should i let us be friends? enough time has passed!? what do you think?

About her

"You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She’s not perfect - you aren’t either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break - her heart. So don’t hurt her, don’t change her, don’t analyze and don’t expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she’s not there. " -Bob Marley

ben gibson

sweet
tasty
witty
social
listens
talks
pays
respects
fun
vocabulary
freckles
strong
sings
dances
beard
kisses
plays
tall
foreplay
touches
smart
drinks
talented
photographer
hands
perfect

love,
me

comfort never got anyone anywhere

“I think we're just gonna to have to be secretly in love with each other and leave it at that, Ritchie.” The Royal Tenenbaums

when your comfortable you sit. you stare, you watch, you wait. for what?

i needed a "wake me up" something to take the edge off... it was you. i missed you, why not?! it was great to see you, by the way. i haven't had a converstation like that in a long time. i hope i didn't shake your world to much. but put a smile ON your face. you are not alone.

love,
me

singleness, why do you hang around here

oh no... it's here. SINGLE-NESSESS
drinks, dinners, movies, dancing, kissing, wispering, smoking, flirting, dressing up, curly hair, fake lashes, long smooth legs, lipsticks, looks, touching, dessert, giggling... omg, i love it.

i've been having so much fun. it's dangerous. <3

love,
me

laughing my ass off...

http://www.youtube.com/user/dansavage#p/a/f/2/csCozsjPrhg

trust and love

this weekend i'm going to a wedding. it's my friends Brandi and Tyree. they are so fun and cute together, so much trust and love in that relationship. when i first met brandi she would go with me dancing in the clubs, and so many men would hit on her, she would just say something to them like "i'm with my girls tonight" or just smile and keep moving. i thought it was strange that she didnt' want to talk to any of them. i asked her one time what was she waiting for? she said "the right one". i told her of my obsessions and she listened and comforted me. i would get very drunk and tell her all my worries of never finding that kind of love that i was thriving for. she would just listen. and i loved it.
we've grown apart since i got married. i think it's becuase i didn't invite any of my friends to my wedding. my ex-husband was jealous of the friendships i had. but i felt that marrying him was the right decision because he asked me, and i was ready. when i moved back to dallas, i tried to rekindle my friendships and it was hard. i never did get back in good terms with them. i felt more like that 5th wheel. and it didn't help that my next relationship wasn't very open to my friends either. he would say we could make plans, but would rather just hang out with me. and i think that was fine. i need to make sure my next relationship will be more open to my friends that have been with me for years. someone who can accept them for who they are, and not judge them for the mistakes that they have done, or continually do. no one is perfect (except me).

right now i'm not dating anyone, i'm still on this high about getting to know myself again. hot yoga class, running, cheerleading, lhs reunion committee... all these things occupy my time. and keep me busy. the best part is, i'm still standing still. i'm seeing where i am, and observing my reactions to my surroundings. i would like a pet. a doggie maybe. i loved creasy bear and think that my next purchase will be an angeldoll puppy. they aren't cheeap, so i think maybe a christmas present for myself. untill then, i'm pretty much booked up with my current schedule.

love,
me

and just for fun - side note this movie will be funny
http://www.justintimberlake.com/news/must_see_bad_teacher_trailer

Single Girls lyrics by Laura Jansen

I think you´d like my new hair
I cut it when you weren´t there
That pieces of us everywhere
Were falling down

My bed is now a girl´s bed
Pink flowers under my head
And pillows on your side instead
Of you

´Cause that´s what single girls do
Don´t think about you

I´m reading books on meditation
Praying for my heart´s salvation
I´ve got the motivation
To be a free girl now

I´ve gone drinking with the guy down the hall
Put up a new color on my bare walls
I´m so damn busy
After all
Cause that´s what single girls do
Don´t think about you

I keep trying
I keep trying
To make my way back to the light where I belong
But God keeps lying
God keeps lying
Saying this is for the best and nothing here is wrong

But I"m still thinking about you

I think you´d like my new hair
I cut it like I didn´t care
That pieces of me everywhere
Were falling down

One more glass of wine
Before I turn off the lights
This time I´ll be fine
I´ll be fine
I´ll be fine

because it will be...

just breathe

having a great day today - getting ready for a sweet night. <3

love,
lala


p.s. i weigh 105.6... and that means Perfect.